When Jason arrived home from work, we quickly washed our hands, put bowls in front of boys, and settled down to eat as a family.

“Celery Chicken!” Jason said with a an extra smile in my direction. We both know it’s a perennial favorite of his, so I try to remember to keep it in rotation.

“Nothing like bland comfort food at the end of a cold day, hmm?” I reply absently, picking over my own bowl, still not quite sure if I’m ready for even the blandest of fare.

“Can I have seconds?” Jack asks as he passes his bowl to me, narrowly missing the noses of at least two brothers in the process.

“Well!” I gush proudly, “Looks like this may be someone else’s favorite, too, dad.”

“Good job, Buddy! You really tore that up didn’t you?”

“Yup!” Jack said beaming. “Looks like I was the first one to get it down.”

Jason snorts and I suddenly come down with a fit of the giggles. Apparently, Nigella, Emeril, Ina and all the rest can sleep easy in their beds tonight.

*If you have pre-schoolers ready to start learning to read, may I strongly recommend the Leapfrog Tag Reader be added to your Christmas List.

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- 2 lbs. chicken cutlets (can also use turkey cutlets — these are sliced much thinner than breasts and can be cooked quickly)

- 1 pkg. Panko Breadcrumbs with Italian Seasoning

- 6 oz. tub shredded parmesan (can also use a blend of Italian cheeses like Fontina, Asiago, Parmesan)

- 4 eggs

- 1 c. all-purpose flour

- salt

- pepper

- butter

- olive oil

On your counter — preferably right by your cooktop — line up three shallow dishes. In the first place the flour, seasoned with 1 T. pepper and 1 t. salt. In the second crack and beat the eggs. In the third, combine the breadcrumbs with the cheese. If possible line it up where you have chicken, flour, egg, breadcrumbs, frying pan. It will cut down on the cleanup later, trust me.

One hand is Wet and one is Dry. Using the hand designated for wet, pick up the raw chicken cutlet and drop it in the flour. Use your dry hand to flip the chicken and shake off the excess flour, then drop the floured cutlet it in the egg. Back to wet hand to pluck it from the egg and drop it in the breadcrumb/cheese mixture. Dry hand presses and pats the coating on, then takes the coated cutlet to the frying pan.

Your pan should be pre-heated over Medium to Medium High heat. To the hot pan add 2 T. olive oil and 1 T. butter. Give it 30 seconds to heat up, then carefully place your cutlets in the pan. You must be able to cook the cutlet approximately 3-4 minutes each side without burning the coating, so drop the heat if necessary. Work in batches of 3-4. Crowding makes for lousy browning, so make sure they have a little room in between. Remove to a cooling rack placed over a jellyroll pan (to catch any drippings) and place in a warm oven while you work on the remaining cutlets. Serve with my favorite side dish (S.T.O.P) and you’ve got a really easy, really great dinner on your hands.

*If you’ve made the whole batch and only need half, save the rest for the following night and serve over pasta with a nice red sauce. I recommend this one unless you want to use bottled. And there ain’t no shame in that. Easy Peasy wins every time.

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- 2 Large yellow squash (summer squash), sliced

- 1 large Vidalia onion, sliced (if you can’t get Vidalia where you are, just be sure it’s a sweet onion)

- 1 bell pepper (for extra sweetness, use a yellow one)

- 1 can diced tomatoes, undrained

- 3 cloves fresh garlic, minced

- 2 T. fresh basil, chopped

- 4 T. butter

- salt and pepper to taste

- 1/3 c. water

Place everything in a large sauce pan with a lid. Bring to a boil, cover and reduce heat to low. Simmer until squash is tender (30 minutes or so — I throw it all together and let it simmer until the main dish is ready). Enjoy!

P.S. — A great main dish pairing is coming up on Friday.

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-1 large container prepared refrigerated pesto (can also throw in an additional small container if you add extra vegetables, pasta or just like it “saucy”)

-1 small package refrigerated cheese tortellini (skip the multi-colored kind if you have picky eaters, but it’s a nice touch of color if not), cooked and cooled

- 8 oz. corkscrew pasta, cooked and cooled

-1 tub shredded parmesan, use about half and save the rest for another recipe or go nuts and use the whole thing

-1 large jar artichoke hearts (plain or italian seasoned), coarsely chopped

- 8 oz. diced fresh mozzarella

Gently combine all of the above. This is your “base” which you can spice up with any of the following:

- black olives & cherry tomatoes

- blanched asparagus, pine nuts and diced red bell pepper

- lightly steamed broccoli/broccolini/frozen peas or shoestring carrots

- pretty much any leftover steamed, grilled or roasted veggie

If you want to go carnivore, just ditch the cheese tortellini and add some shredded chicken — preferably leftover from the night before or from a nice rotisserie bird you picked up at the grocery store . Only Easy Peasy things, remember?

To make it go even further and to cut down the calorie load, serve a smallish portion over fresh greens with a broth based soup on the side. The possibilities are only limited by your imagination and what your taste-buds can tolerate.

There you have it. Further successful recipes for the Half-Baked cook as they arise.

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Then the kids came home and the wheels fell off. Seriously, when I’m home with everyone by myself I operate at a level just sane enough to keep me out of a padded room, but not together enough to really qualify as competent. I’m pretty sure I’m going to crack a tooth at any moment from the constant clenching as I remind myself to count to ten, 20, 30…or whatever number it takes to keep me from screaming and jumping up and down while tearing out my hair in frustration.

Honestly, walk out into your yard…find the nearest weed…then tell it repeatedly to put on its shoes. Your success rate should be about even with mine. Then throw in the whining, crying, screeching refrains of “He hit me!!! I had it first!!!” and the ever popular catch all “Mommy! Mommy! MOOOOOOMMMMYYYYY!” and then wonder why I’m counting down until college.

I had a recent comment from a long lost relative, Dru, who asked if it was wrong to wish for nothing but time alone on her birthday. To which I offer a big, fat “NOOOOO!” with a cherry on top. I will flatly tell you that I daydream of vacationing alone. Of having the free time to take a community enrichment class in photography, creative writing, asian cooking, fiber arts or some other topic of interest to no one in the family but me. If that’s wrong, then count me among the guilty.

Don’t think I don’t love my boys. I count having children as one of the best things I’ve ever done in my life. But that being said, every now and again — and by every now and again, I mean as often as you can possibly swing it — you have to do a little something for yourself.

Today I made beet salad knowing that only I would truly appreciate it. At this point, you may be thinking, “Jodi, that is a truly pathetic attempt at pampering yourself.” Perhaps. But it was the only “just for me” thing I could work in today, aside from my 15 minutes of Yoga this morning.

Or you may just be thinking, “Ugh! Beets! Those things taste like dirt!” But cast your childish preconceptions aside and give em a try Jodi’s way. Honestly…these things are awesome.

Peel and cube 4 beets. Toss with 2 T. olive oil, a pinch of salt and pepper and some fresh thyme from your kitchen garden. (Don’t have a kitchen garden? Well that’s an easy fix. Even if you don’t have a yard, container gardens work great for herbs and can live quite happily on even the smallest sunny balcony. My personal must haves would include Basil, Thyme and Rosemary, but you could throw in some spicy Oregano or a few bunches of Chives to round it out. This also gives me something to do when I want to ship one of my kids to Morocco, as dead-heading and trimming my kitchen garden gives me an excuse to walk out the back door and take some time to calm down before hurling myself once more into the breach.) Bake your beets at 425 for 12 -15 minutes, stirring halfway through. Remove from oven, place in a small bowl and set aside to cool.

When you’re opening the oven for that midpoint beet stir, pop in a pan of walnuts to toast. Take 1/2 cup walnut halves or pieces, toss with 1 T. olive oil and a little salt and pepper and let them roast for 6 to 7 minutes. Then dump them in the bowl with the beets to cool off.

Thinly slice 1/2 a red onion, or my personal favorite — a sweet Vidalia onion, and toss in with the beets and walnuts.

For the dressing, combine 2 parts olive oil with 2 parts Red Wine Vinegar and 1 part real Maple Syrup. Add salt and pepper to taste and shake or whisk to combine. Pour over your beet/walnut combo and allow to marinate at room temperature for at least 20 minutes.

When ready to serve, place a portion over some baby spinach leaves, washed and trimmed, and crumble an ounce of soft goat cheese over the top. Heaven on a plate. As expected, the kids wanted no part of it tonight, but were happy to eat slivers of goat cheese by itself. So everybody wound up happy in the end. Always the goal.

I realize making yourself a beet salad may not be your idea of indulgence, but my point is…do what you gotta do to survive. Recruit a baby sitter and go get yourself a manicure. Pop in your earbuds and rock out to Lady Gaga while they watch one more soul-sucking episode of Barney (or worse, “Make Room for Noddy” — what sadist came up with that one?). When all else fails, hide in the bathroom and eat chocolate while you giggle maniacally at the knowledge that you aren’t going to share. Not One. Single. Bite!

Much love to all my friends in the trenches. We will survive!!

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Here was our first attempt (photo courtesy of Whole Foods website as I haven’t had time for an upload):

Fresh. Healthy. Delicious!

Click the picture for a quick link to the recipe and you’ll find that the ingredients list couldn’t be fresher or easier. The crumble portion is simply pecans, walnuts, dates and cinnamon, but it is the best tasting thing I’ve had in ages.

It got mixed reviews from the kids as at least half our little posse won’t try anything they haven’t seen at least 10 times before, but Jason and I had to remind ourselves that we couldn’t eat the entire dish and still call it “healthy.”

If it’s summer in your neck of the woods, run — do not walk — to your nearest farmer’s market and load up on fresh strawberries, blueberries, blackberries and raspberries. Then serve this up for your bunch tonight.

FYI, it’s just as fabulous for breakfast the next day over some nice organic vanilla yogurt. Heaven! Who knew eating healthy could actually be a pleasure?

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I bought one of these…

…but still can’t figure out how to use it. It looked a lot easier on YouTube.

I was really excited to receive this in the mail…

…and it was full of all these fun things…

…but not really all I was hoping for. It’s fun to get mail, but not fun to pay $33 for something that, ultimately, is of no use whatsoever.

Then we went on vacation where the boys and I spent tons of time at the beach and in the pool. Sadly all those pictures are on Tessa’s camera, and until I get copies, you’ll just have to take my word for it. But Jason did go fishing, where he caught a bunch of these:

…and saw a bunch of these:

And laughed himself silly over this:

Then, as we were frying up all those fish, I caught a glimpse of my rearview…

…and realized a diet had become mandatory. So I’m now a member of Weight Watchers Online. Lovely. If you’re suffering there, too, look me up! I’m registered under The Drunch and need all the support I can get.

Last week was pretty horrible, as Sam had (and still seems to have) a pretty vicious case of stomach flu. There are no pictures.

You’re welcome.

That brings us to today. Wherein Will enjoys a chocolate doughnut while trying to touch his nose with his tongue…

And Gus lurks nearby — ever hopeful…

Which gives Sam a fit of the giggles…

And leaves Tom plenty of time to clean up before I can get any embarrassing photos of him.

Now Jack and Jason are at the movies catching the afternoon showing of Iron Man 2 and Sam, Tom and Will are taking turns being the baby while the other two boys are the mom and dad. Babies apparently cry a lot and demand that their “mother” bring them cups of apple juice to make them feel better. Pretty spot on so far. Don’t you wish you were here?

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Today is the second day of my road to recovery. I’ve signed up for Weight Watchers Online — and I’m actually logging every bite that goes in my mouth. Since yesterday, I’ve discovered a major source of previously unidentified calories — the boys’ leftovers. Case in point: I had to force myself to march to the garbage with a completely untouched warm brownie earlier today. Sam insisted it was the only thing he could stomach for lunch, then took one look, wrinkled his nose and asked, “It’s chocolate?”

“Yes, son…It’s a brownie,” I said flatly. “They’re always chocolate.”

“I not like it,” he shrugged. Turning away, he tossed over his shoulder, “Just throw it away.”

I stared down at its warm, gooey, goodness. It begged me to take just one tiny bite. I picked up the carton and read the completely sickening nutritional information. How many calories for this one (giant) brownie??? One forkful would pack at least 50 calories. Hmmm…I grabbed a fork, took one quick bite (What? Am I made of stone?), then I flipped the bowl upside down and squashed it deep into the garbage can. Disaster averted. Well…mostly. It could definitely have been worse.

Tonight we’re having a Mexican-inspired brown rice casserole with grilled pork tenderloin. Tomorrow night, I think I’ll add a few veggies, the leftover pork, some garlic, ginger and soy sauce to the plain rice I set aside and tell the boys it’s pork fried rice — while I make do with mostly veggies.

With a little luck and a LOT of willpower, I plan to be back in my cute jeans by fall. Twenty pounds is a big scary number, but at least I’ve stopped the downhill slide and am on my way back to a healthier, more comfortable me.

Got any favorite healthy recipes or diet tips? I’m all ears. In the same boat and want a buddy? Shoot me an e-mail and we’ll suffer through together. I may be too late to salvage swimsuit season, but just watch me rock a turtleneck this winter.

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3/4 c. ketchup
1/2 c. blackberry jelly (no seeds, please)
2 T. Red Wine Vinegar
Dash of cinnamon
Dash of cloves

All measurements are approximate, as I tend to throw stuff in until it tastes right. This comes out as sort of an upscale barbecue sauce.

Season a tenderloin to taste. I chose to go with Salt Free Lemon Pepper seasoning just to see what would happen. Then of course I threw in some Kosher Salt — cause I do like salt, I just like to be in charge. It was fine, but plain old salt and pepper are a can’t-go-wrong choice. In an oven safe pan, sear it over high heat until brown and beautiful on all sides (I use peanut oil a lot because of its low smoke point, but that’s up to you. Experiment. Go crazy with some coconut oil for all I care). Then, spread half your sauce over it and throw it in a 450 degree oven for about 10 minutes or until it registers at least 160 degrees at its thickest point. If you don’t want to do the oven step, you could always brown all sides, then slice it into medallions and finish it in the pan. If you do it all on the stove top, don’t sauce it until they’re almost done, then throw it under the broiler so the sauce gets all bubbly and thick. It means the difference between a polite *Mmmm* and *OMG! Do you have anymore of this?*

Serve it with some kind of starch (I did couscous, but I’m still not sure I like that stuff — polenta would have totally rocked and that’s what I’ll do next go round) and a salad or green vegetable, and you’ve got yourself a restaurant quality meal.

See? I do have other skills. I just don’t choose to exercise all of them at once. Maybe now we’ll see an ad for the Slap Chop. Stay tuned.

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Thin mints, Samoas, Tag-a-longs, Do-Si-Dos — I can honestly say I’ve never met Girl Scout Cookie I didn’t like, and I’ve got the waistline to prove it. But here they were advocating using precious Girl Scout Cookies as RECIPE INGREDIENTS!!!

Sorry for yelling, but that’s like staring long and hard at the Mona Lisa and then saying, “You know with a little work, this could be a really good painting.” You just can’t improve on perfection. But if you just can’t help yourself, you can find a slew of recipes here or even try your hand at making home-made Samoas here.

But if you want my opinion here’s the only Girl Scout Cookie “recipe” you’ll ever need:

Take one box Thin Mints. Place in freezer for two hours — or until you just can’t wait any longer. Eat entire box over the course of the day, telling yourself with each trip to the freezer, “I’ll just have one more.” Decide not to feel guilty about eating a whole box of cookies since Girl Scout Cookie time only rolls around once a year. Thank God.

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