Him: What’s that thing on the counter that looks like a savings bond?
Me: That’s a refund check. We actually got one this year.
Him: So…what is it? Like $10?
Me: Enough to get that plane you wanted.
Him: Helicopter.
Me: What?
Him: Technically, it’s a helicopter.
Me: Whatever. Keep being a @#$% and I’ll go buy shoes.
Well, it is.