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The Good, The Bad, but mostly the Ugly

If you’re in my inner circle, you know I’ve recently had a hysterectomy. Ok…let’s be honest. If you were behind the register or trapped in line with me at Target, Publix, or Any of my Usual Haunts, you may know I’ve recently had a hysterectomy. I’m a sharer — what can I say?

Things weren’t going well at week 6, but a change in tack has made for smoother sailing in weeks 7 and 8. BUT…it also means I’ve been really inactive for over 2 months. Inactive with unrestricted access to Easter Candy. You see where I’m going here? And I have to wear a swimsuit at the family beach trip in just under 3 weeks AND have pictures taken by a professional photographer. At this point, I don’t have a good side. Or a waistline for that matter. It’s depressing.

Also, I seem to be at a critical parenting point with one of the triplets. Suffice it to say that things are NOT easy right now. And I’m not at all sure I’m doing the right thing. I mean maybe I’m doing the right thing, but there’s really no way to know until he’s lived his entire life without a prison stint. I’m not sure I fully understood going in that once you’re a parent, there really is no “finish line,” just a constant evolution in what your children need/demand from you. It’s stressful.

To this depression and stress add a severe case of writer’s block. So severe, it’s also manifested as ‘reader’s block’ in that I don’t even have the attention span to read someone else’s work. At least that part has lightened up in the past few days, I’ve enjoyed reading an old favorite author, Georgette Heyer. Light, easy reading for the thinking impaired. And now, hopefully, I’ll start to see some of the little grey cells I use for writing wake up and return to service. But I wonder if I’ll always be crippled by the certainty that I’m a terrible writer and should confine myself to the random musings of this blog.

So there we are. This is the last Sunday I’m allowing myself a day off. Back to the regular routines from here on in. To my usual list of laundry, dinner, housework, I’m forcing a regular exercise and writing window. Hopefully the exercise will give my brain enough of a release that it will let go of some of the words it’s been hoarding. And if I should happen to see a waistline again, all the better.

 

 

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7 Responses

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  1. Akoss says

    I hope things get better for you. I had somewhat of a similar ‘adventure’ minus the hysterectomy. Mine was an emergency csec and it took me three months to get back to reading. The writing isn’t back yet. Not that I don’t want to but I’m having a hard time freeing my arms from baby. Take care.

  2. wendy kane says

    and of course like me, you probably assumed that you would be a better than average post op patient, and not have to slow down/recover/get “behind” in whatever element we choose to feel inadequate at for the day…and now it amplifies all other smaller or at least background worries leading up to a full blown “how will i ever get this all done and be perfect at it? what does it all mean?” episode. i guess what i mean to say is….it’s hard being us jodi :) i always say i feel like a “phoebe” and so want to be a phoebe….but i’m really just a “monica” :)

    ps- i’m having similar thoughts about upcoming vacation pics…..should i go ahead and start the self tanner now or wait until the week before????

  3. Alonna says

    I can relate only through infertility treatments so far. I haven’t had to have a hysterectomy yet, who knows what the future holds. But going through infertility I had hot flashes, night sweats, and severe depression. Depression not leaving the house or couch for 2 weeks depression. I put on about 35 pounds and was just miserable. Then one day my husband came home and said “I can’t see you like this anymore let’s quit this treatment.” And we did, and I saw a doctor and started getting better mentally. The road was long and hard but if you have 2 weeks I say you can lose say 10 pounds easy. The only trick I know is to not eat past 6 p.m. and if you get hungry drink herb tea at night hot, it will relax you and take away hunger. By the way I think you look great and you have been through enough! Deep thoughts by Jack Handy .. sorry this is a whole page lol. :)

  4. jodi says

    You’re so right about the infertility treatments. They are brutal, both physically and mentally. As to the weight, I’m going hard-core, Alonna. Signed up for weight watchers and managed to exercise a little today. I’ll add the 6 o’clock cutoff and the herb tea to my routine. I’m just so far out of good health practices, it’s like starting all over again. *sigh* Thanks so much for the words of affirmation, though.

  5. jodi says

    LOL! Wendy, you’ve nailed it. I’m SUCH a harsh critic, that I wind up sabotaging myself. I have to remember that “perfect is the enemy of good” — then repeat it ad nauseum. And I say self-tanner now, because you’ll need time to find one that doesn’t make you orange. ;)

  6. jodi says

    Oh, Akoss! I’ve been there. I tell everyone (and they think I’m joking) that I don’t even remember the first 2 years of the triplets’ lives because I was so sleep deprived. It WILL get better, I promise. :)

  7. Kimmy says

    Honey, why do you think I wear so many maxi dresses? Hide the flaws, no shaving of the legs and you look stylish. Can’t beat it!



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