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My house is a wreck and I just don’t care. I left to take the boys to school wearing no makeup, my glasses and this odd creation (that I bought dirt cheap in order to steal the pattern) so that no one would see just how greasy my hair is. Because, incidentally, I haven’t had a bath today either. Photo on 2010-02-11 at 10.34 #2

Sometimes I have it all together. The dishes are clean, the floors are swept, the carpets are vacuumed, the pillows fluffed and the clothes are washed and folded. And I’m kicked back, fully dressed, coiffed and made up with a cup of coffee in one hand and my Kindle in the other. Sometimes it’s exactly like that for, oh….30 minutes or so. That, my friends, is a perfect day.

Today is not one of those days. Today the sheets need to be changed, the floors are fuzzier than the carpets and I washed a pull-up in the final laundry load last night, so have had to run all those clothes through the full cycle repeatedly in an effort to eliminate the funky gelatin that spilled out of it.

I’m seriously considering dialing 911 and reporting a burglary. Because don’t they send a complementary clean-up crew after that happens? No? Well they should.

“Someone broke in and stole your flat screen? We’re sorry about that ma’am. We’ll have a work crew out there right away to clean behind your toilets and take care of that funky gelatin in your washer. Now don’t cry ma’am. Just sit back and drink your coffee and read your Kindle. It’s all in a day’s work.”

Honestly, that’s a completely fair trade in my opinion. Maybe I should write my congressman. That should take up at least an hour if you count revisions, printing and driving to the post office. One less hour I have to spend in a purgatory of spray disinfectant, toilet brushes and the like.

As it is, I’m going to go scramble myself an egg and make, then guzzle, a pot of coffee in hopes that I’ll feel more like tackling the monstrous mess on a full stomach with a healthy (?) dose of caffeine coursing through my system. Happy Thursday, Everybody! And remember my motto…If you can’t be a good example, at least be a terrible warning.

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9 Responses

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  1. Kimmy says

    You.Are.Hysterical. I’ve done nothing today but get D-man signed up for soccer. And school’s almost out. Dang. Love you, Kimmy

  2. Alonna says

    I have that hat in red. From urban? I think you look nice. I’m usually in sweats and pigtails lol.

  3. bells says

    Sorry I know you said something about cleaning and flat screen tvs but I kept going back to the photo and thinking you just look cute as a button – was the pre-caffeine?

  4. jodi says

    Bells, you are the sweetest. Yes this was pre-caffeine, pre-breakfast, pre-bath. Come to think of it, I’m STILL pre-bath. Ick!!

    Alonna, found this at that new little boutique they opened in that new section of the summit. Lots of cute, trendy stuff cheap. Just know it will only last through one wash. It’s almost like renting clothing really. 😉

    Kimmy…We signed up for t-ball and practice starts Sunday. I’m praying we get snowed out, but what’s the likelihood of that in Alabama? Love you back!

  5. B says

    You’re beautiful and I hate you………But love you b/c you make me laugh All THE TIME. Never had the diaper washing “experience”…., Jerry just leaves RED pens in every pocket!

  6. Ailsa says

    If I looked that cute without makeup I’d never wear it. I bet the other mothers wish they looked that good first thing in the morning!

  7. jodi says

    Ailsa, You are now officially added to my best friend roster. Thanks so much!!

  8. Tamara says

    Seriously, you have flawless skin! You should be doing ads for Olay. Gee, your day sounds like 4 out of 7 of mine…and I have no excuses except that I’m an expert procrastinator!

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