I have no idea what I’m supposed to be doing today.
I mean I want to be writing the most awesome novel/short-story/essay/something-or-other you’ve ever seen in your life, but I’m obsessing neurotically instead. So pretty much par for the course.
I could easily blame circumstances: I’m sick, all the boys are home, Jason is NOT home.
Did you pick up the resentment in that last bit? I mean, naturally, since I got to get away from the chaos of 4 boys for 2.5 days, it’s only fair that I should give him a measly afternoon to himself before he goes back to his grueling job, right? I get it. Really!
But since I’ve had to mediate at least 117 fights, open 8 dozen fruit roll ups, pour 30 glasses of milk AND listen to a never ending barrage of cartoons all afternoon, my sense of right and wrong is slightly skewed.
Right now it seems perfectly reasonable to want to ditch them all and run away to someplace quiet with a desk, a computer, and my MUUUUUSE. Because I am certain the only thing holding me back from becoming Harper Lee’s doppelganger is my lack of reliable childcare.
It has nothing, NOTHINGÂ whatsoever to do with my lack of talent, education, willpower, or good ideas. Not one. Damn. Thing. *sigh*
i’m not a fiction writer, but i do know creativity needs space and time to work and sadly doesn’t like sharing its brain space with domestic chores and kids games đ
remember God The Creator made you in his image – he’s stuffed you full of talent and it’ll all be there next time you do get some time to yourself.
i suppose what i’m trying to say is, don’t beat yourself up about feeling creatively paused by life.
x