Fall is here, and that means new clothes for the kids. I drug out the storage containers form the garage, laid everything out, and determined which hand-me-downs would fit which child. Then, I made a list of how many shirts, pants, jeans, t-shirts, etc. I needed to get. One place we were pretty solid  was pants. Will gets Jack’s leftovers from 2 years ago. Sam gets Jack’s leftovers from last year. I hit the end of season sales last spring, and loaded Jack up on corduroys and khakis and his last year jeans still fit — at least until the first of the year. That just leaves Tom. And with Tom it’s a bit trickier.

Tom is what you might call solid. Thick as a tree, strong as an ox — I’m convinced Tom is going to hit his 4 year growth spurt and then decide between completing pre-school or declaring himself NFL draft eligible. But in the meantime, he needs pants.

I searched GAP, local department stores, J.C. Penney and finally, after much soul searching turned to Sears. Why the hesitation? Two words — Pretty Plus.

Pretty Plus is a code word they use for a special segment of the girl’s clothing line at Sears, and I’ll clue you in now — it doesn’t mean MORE pretty. It means MORE to love…MORE material required…MORE trips to the buffet line. In short, it’s the clothes for big girls, and it’s the only place I could find pants until the 6th grade.

So for me, a return to Sears shopping meant revisiting a LOT of childhood trauma. I worried that giving Tom the “Husky” label (the code word for the boys’ clothing line) at such an early age might be hurtful. I worried that he would notice that his clothes were different than his brothers’. In short, I worried that I was placing the weight of all my childhood angst squarely on his sturdy little shoulders. It was a lot to swallow, but I took a deep breath and clicked through the checkout screens required to place my order. Then put it out of my mind.

But as the days went by, and Tom had to wear sweatpants or elastic shorts while the other boys were wearing jeans, I really began to look forward to that Sears order. So what if he’s built a little differently? He still deserves to be comfortable! I started to get a bit angry with all those other retailers for not realizing that awesome comes in all shapes and sizes. And three years old is way too young to be told that you don’t “fit the mold.” Come to think of it…I’m not sure it’s ever o.k. to send that message.

The box arrived last night. And after his bath, when he was smelling his sweetest and feeling his cuddliest, Tommy got to try on his new pants. Pants with enough room in the waist so his tummy doesn’t hurt. Pants built for a boy born with a booty, so he can run and jump and play without constantly having to stop and tug them back into place. In short, pants that made him feel good. He patted his new jeans and said with a huge grin, “Mommy, dese fit me jus’ wight.”

And suddenly, I remembered the beautiful eggplant corduroys I got in the 4th grade. They came with a matching Lavender turtleneck covered in flowers. I remembered how soft they were when I slipped them on. How I felt like smiling more when I was wearing them. And in that moment, just like flipping a switch, I decided Pretty Plus just might have stood for “More Pretty” after all.