Also known as Mommy Balloons, Bubbies, Woobies, etc. If you are a mom, chances are you’ve been felt up by your child, who has then innocently applied one of the previous labels to your breasts — your sagging, deflated, depressing breasts. If it hasn’t happened yet, be forewarned…it one day will. Whether you nursed or not, post-birth boobs are nothing like their former selves. If you’re like most of us, the upper part of your breast simply disappeared sometime after hearing that first precious cry but well before you lost that last 10 pounds. Take it from me, we’ve hashed this one over at the drunch table countless times, and you really only have two choices: plastic surgery or a really, really good bra.
Today, we’ll discuss choice number two — the industrial strength bra. I’ve been around the world on this one, so please allow me to save you some legwork.
First off — and this is key — get a really good fitting. Victoria’s Secret is one merchant that offers this service, but if you can get a second opinion at a bona fide lingerie store, this will give you a firm idea of the two sizes you’ll need to try. Because most of us fall between one or the other, and because different brands will vary their cup sizes a bit, you’ll want to try on your two most likely sizes before picking one. Remember, if you’re going with a heavily padded cup, you may need to leap up a cup size from the one you initially measured.
Everyday Fabulosity:
The Victoria’s Secret Biofit Uplift — This one wins hands down in the everyday comfort category. And the degree of padding is gradually reduced as cup size increases, so D cups get different tailoring than an A cup would. While not exactly a size booster, this at least makes the most of what you have … or at least what you have left. Seriously resilient, this one holds up to repeated machine washings and even the occasional trip through the drier (I know I should be more careful with my delicates, but I should also eat right and exercise, shouldn’t I?). This is my go to bra buddy, and I highly recommend it.
Wacoal Top Solution Contour Bra — I list this one because the premise is a good one. Instead of pushing the breast up to fill in the missing upper pole, they throw in an extra bit of padding to “fill in the gap” at the top of your bra. Disclaimers: this is not as comfortable as the Biofit, nor is it nearly as resilient. Also, I find that Wacoal has a whole tends to minimize rather than enhance, so if your girls need a size boost, this is not the choice for you.
The After 5 o’clock stunner:
On Gossamer Bump It Up! — Without question, this is the best push-up bra on the market. Straight off the rack, it does wonders for your rack. But there’s an added twist — literally! You can twist the center to bump your girls even higher — for those rare evenings when you can actually find a sitter and get the hell out of the house with your hubby. This bra is widely available on-line. However, you will definitely need to order a cup size higher than your everyday bra. There’s a LOT of padding in this baby. If you’re looking for 36D and higher, I’ve only found one on-line option (which is embedded in the link above and in the scroll bar to your right), but talk to your local retailers. Those sizes can be special-ordered — which can take a little extra time — but this little bit of magic and elastic is well worth the wait. Treat it gently, and it will last even longer than your new running shoes (and we both know those things never leave your closet).
Short of a visit to your friendly neighborhood plastic surgeon, these bras are the best choice for giving the appearance that your Mommy Balloons haven’t suffered a massive loss of pressure. Hope this narrows your search and saves you some time in the dressing room.
No need to thank me. That’s what a drunch date is all about.
