So here’s Will’s completely awesome Star Wars hat.

Sure I had to hold the grey yarn in my left hand and knit it Continental Style while holding the cream yarn in my right hand and knitting English style. Never mind that I carefully carried the non-dominant color and wove it above and below the color that was in use throughout the entire pattern. And yes, there are four distinct objects circling the hat which made for 20 rows of 80 stitches with NO REPEATS. No big deal. Just so it makes him feel happy when he wears it.

But perhaps…and this is just a suggestion…perhaps wearing it to lunch on Ravioli Day at school was a little unnecessary. And certainly deciding to use it as a napkin in lieu of…oh, I dunno… a NAPKIN was even more unnecessary if that is at all possible.

Any suggestions for removing ravioli stains from Blue Sky Hand-Dyed Wool would be met with gratitude and undying affection.

Theorem: My family’s appreciation of dinner is inversely proportional to the amount of time, effort and money I devote to it.

Proof: Taco Salad Night at the Burrus Zoo = A houseful of happy campers

I think I deserve an honorary PhD in home economics. Don’t you?

“Go get ready for bed.”

Jack heard….

I give up.

Just so you know, I’m nauseated. My head hurts. And it feels like my right eye my pop out of my head at any given moment. Pretty much par for the course around here. Just another bug passing through. I’m only sharing this in case anyone was wondering why I sent my children to school looking like this…

Will started the trend by insisting on wearing his Thomas the Train rain boots — ostensibly to properly accessorize his Thomas the Train bathtub toys that he plans on sharing at Show and Tell this morning. Tom, merely insisted on looking pained in this picture, but by the time we reached school had an unidentified smudge under his left eye which closely resembled soot. It did not come off even after the obligatory “spit-finger-scrub” was applied in the carpool line, and I assume he will carry out the rest of his school day looking like a chimney sweep.

But I have to give props to Jack, because he just took it to a whole new level. In addition to his bright, red “Rock Star” rain boots, he managed to muster real tears while pleading to wear his favorite hoodie from last year that he found in the bowels of the coat closet while I was trying to get everyone else ready for school. Never mind that it barely zips anymore… or that the sleeves don’t manage to cover his wrist bones…or that to get the hood over his head he kind of has to hunch his shoulders and remember not to straighten his arms. None of those details matter when you factor in that it has a bear and “real live bear tracks” appliqued on it. What’s not to love?

So there you have it. I am a horrible, lazy mother. And now there’s documented evidence to prove it.

Will: Sam! You not touch my stuff! You understand me?

Sam (crossing arms and poking out his lips): I not talkin’ to you!

Will: No, I not talkin’ to YOU!:

Sam (screaming now): I. Not. Talkin’. To. YOU!!

Somehow, I thought all those Y chromosomes meant we wouldn’t have exchanges like this.

I know I’m supposed to “live in the moment”, but why do so many of my moments involve kid poop?

It’s official, I need a knitting intervention. I fully expect to get a thank you note from my local craft store as well as an invitation to their child’s college graduation — I’m pretty sure I’ve paid for it single-handedly by now.

“Aren’t you bored with that yet?” Jason asked me this weekend. “You’ve been working on that for hours now.”

Short answer…No I am not bored. I realize I haven’t discovered fire here, but there is something so fantastic about turning a few balls of yarn into some sort of useful thing, that I could do it all day and not get tired of it. Although my aching fingers tell another story.

I’ll be honest, I’m not even all that concerned about what I churn out. Whether the product is good, bad or indifferent, the process is enthralling. If you don’t knit, you’ll just have to trust me on this one. And suddenly realizing, “Hey, I think I know how to make this pattern better!” makes me feel incredibly clever. Considering my brain has been slowly rotting under the onslaught of The Wiggles and Bob the Builder, it’s reassuring to realize there’s still a spark of creativity in there somewhere.

Speaking of…check out my latest creation.

I made this hat in a solid for Jason, but then bought a book that shows different stitches and patterns. I thought this Fair Isle Star looked promising and managed to tweak it a bit so it would fit my stitch count.

I’m really pleased with how it came out, and Tom seems to love it as well. He insisted on wearing it for all four hours of Mother’s Day Out yesterday which totally makes up for the fact that I had to knit the whole thing twice before I got the size right. On the upside, with the second one I finally got the hang of weaving, so the inside isn’t such an unholy mess.

Please don’t ask me why it looks navy blue in this picture. But at least my stitches look (sort of) tidy!

Now I’m off to do more laundry. Potty training is NOT moving along as quickly as I’d like. And a certain child who shall remain nameless (but don’t even think I’ve forgotten who you are) managed to soil two outfits before 9 a.m. this morning. Lovely. With pull-ups running around 40 cents per item, these kids are SERIOUSLY cutting into my mad money.