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Stoner Mom

8:30 Pour International Delights Caramel Macchiato creamer in my coffee. Revel in the delicious aroma. Realize there’s only a little left in the container, so dump the rest of it in my mug. Latte!

8:35 Realize I’m still staring at the whorls of creamer as they rise, swirl and dance across the surface of my coffee to an unheard, lazy rhythm. Why have I never noticed this before It’s amazing!

8:40 Find myself still staring at coffee cup. Houston, we have a problem.

8:40-8:41 Wrack my brain to figure why I’m behaving so oddly. Suddenly remember waking up with excruciating pain in my busted, tired, bursitis-eaten hip. Realize that perhaps taking a pain pill on an empty stomach was a bad idea.

8:41 to present — Determine a stoner’s life is not for me as I…

1) wasted 5 minutes searching for my laptop before remembering I also have a desktop computer,

b) Lost my precious coffee cup at least 4 times during the search

4) Found typing/list-making while high a near impossibility.

I’m going to drink more coffee now in hopes of regaining my fine-motor function. Note to self: Tylenol only from here on in.

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  1. Kimmy says

    Worry only if the dog starts talking to you. Maybe you’re just guesting on an episode of “Family Guy”.



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