Sam’s Running Tab

Plumber to auger out “White Plastic Part” which we later identified as part of the potty seat = $218.00

Locksmith who took all @#$% day to unlock mommy’s bedroom door and give her access to her clothes, toothbrush, etc. = $100

Pain and suffering = $4,682

Over the last 24 hours, you’ve lost $5,000 from your college fund, Sam. At this rate, you better be really smart or really athletic.

Much love,

Mommy