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It Ain’t Done Til It’s OVERdone

I’m not much of a Christmas decorator. Usually I drag out our fake tree, pretending I don’t notice that it’s shedding so many needles so as to completely negate the “real trees are too messy” argument, then I randomly slap on the various and sundry ornaments we’ve collected over 15 years of marriage. I noticed last year that some of them were really starting to show their age. And if any of them did happen to look presentable, the kids immediately targeted those for breakage.

But this year…this year was going to be different. It started off with a couple of throw pillows — ooh! and these super-cheap but totally cool deer figurines. Isn’t that a nice start?


But the deer figurines reminded me…didn’t I buy a couple of deer at Z Gallerie’s after-Christmas sale last year?


I thought so. Throw in some beaded fruit garland and a bowl full of …


…You guessed it — beaded fruit pot-pourri — and now we’re in business. Hmmm….beaded fruit gives me an idea. How ’bout we carry that over to the tree?


And beaded fruit needs some pine cones, grape vine garland, bows and fake feathers, right? Riiiight!

Tree and Santa

That’s more like it. And why not chop up a long-leaf pine garland or two and use them to flesh out my decrepit fake tree? Genius! And of course a big ol’ Santa Claus to tie it all together. But I’m worried there just aren’t enough deer to qualify as a bona fide fetish. What to do? What to do?

Big Sparkly Deer

Oh…thank goodness for big, fat SPARKLY gold deer. Nothing says holidays like fake deer and glitter, does it? That and the lighted deer in the yard… And the lighted snowman…And the inflatable, lighted Thomas the Train…AND the lighted moose. Have I crossed over to Griswold status yet?

I think I’ll pretend these are my only decorations. Never mind the shiny silver deer in the kitchen. Or the lighted jingle bell deer at the top of the staircase. And the electric-lava-lamp-glitter-snowman is NOT in my guest room. I don’t care what my friends say.

Some people wonder when to start decorating for the holidays. I think it’s time for an intervention to help me figure out when to stop!

Happy Tacky Holidays, y’all!!!

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7 Responses

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  1. Patty says

    its ok honey I have a pink yes I said PINK tree in my kitchen adorned with lime green and lavender ornaments!! ( I have a theme of bright colors in my kitchen)

  2. alonna says

    I want to see the snowman 🙂

  3. Josie says

    I find it amusing you totally omitted what’s going on down in the boys’ playroom in the basement.

  4. jodi says

    Is it awful that I completely FORGOT all the stuff going on in the playroom? But that’s just a small tree…and a few stuffed elves and penguins…And paper chains and the kids’ Christmas crafts. Oh yeah, and that HONKIN’ big railroad track! Hmmm…thanks for outing just how bad my sickness really is Josie. ;P

  5. bells says

    Hello, I think this post is incomplete. I think we need to see the lighted deer!

    I don’t have a tree up this year. Not going to be home. Can’t be arsed. Bah humbug!

  6. B says

    You know, I’m just flat out impressed!! I didn’t even have a tree until TODAY!! Who knows when I’ll get it decorated………..Well done!!!

  7. Tamara says

    AWESOME…and here I was giving Linda all the credit…OOPS! After all these years, I had no idea you liked deer so much…how did I miss that? And, doesn’t Jason get hunting fever seeing all those deer all the time??? Absolutely beautiful…now come decorate mine before your intervention begins!

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