Just because this one made me laugh.

via: loafersansocks

Just so you know, I’m nauseated. My head hurts. And it feels like my right eye my pop out of my head at any given moment. Pretty much par for the course around here. Just another bug passing through. I’m only sharing this in case anyone was wondering why I sent my children to school looking like this…

Will started the trend by insisting on wearing his Thomas the Train rain boots — ostensibly to properly accessorize his Thomas the Train bathtub toys that he plans on sharing at Show and Tell this morning. Tom, merely insisted on looking pained in this picture, but by the time we reached school had an unidentified smudge under his left eye which closely resembled soot. It did not come off even after the obligatory “spit-finger-scrub” was applied in the carpool line, and I assume he will carry out the rest of his school day looking like a chimney sweep.

But I have to give props to Jack, because he just took it to a whole new level. In addition to his bright, red “Rock Star” rain boots, he managed to muster real tears while pleading to wear his favorite hoodie from last year that he found in the bowels of the coat closet while I was trying to get everyone else ready for school. Never mind that it barely zips anymore… or that the sleeves don’t manage to cover his wrist bones…or that to get the hood over his head he kind of has to hunch his shoulders and remember not to straighten his arms. None of those details matter when you factor in that it has a bear and “real live bear tracks” appliqued on it. What’s not to love?

So there you have it. I am a horrible, lazy mother. And now there’s documented evidence to prove it.

Will: Sam! You not touch my stuff! You understand me?

Sam (crossing arms and poking out his lips): I not talkin’ to you!

Will: No, I not talkin’ to YOU!:

Sam (screaming now): I. Not. Talkin’. To. YOU!!

Somehow, I thought all those Y chromosomes meant we wouldn’t have exchanges like this.

I know I’m supposed to “live in the moment”, but why do so many of my moments involve kid poop?

New Year. New Jodi. Since chocolate and Mountain Dew have derailed my weight loss efforts so far, I’ve decided to try and make inroads in another direction. I have definitely been in a dinner rut for quite some time. I make a few dishes well — and those I can do in my sleep — but when it comes to creative cooking, I’m afraid I’ve missed the boat. So I’m casting my net for new EASY dinner ideas.

Jason has become really enamored of Just Cook This with Sam the Cooking Guy on the Discovery Health Channel. He does lots of pretty easy stuff that looks fairly family friendly (i.e., there’s at least a slight chance my kids will eat it). So last night I decided to try cooking Thai for the first time ever. Here’s my ingredients, minus the raw chicken of course. If you want to look at raw meat, surf on down to another site. Cause it grosses me out, and there’s no way I’m posting pictures of things that make me ill.

O.k. so I just told a lie, because right there in living color is a bottle of Fish Sauce. Never used fish sauce before? Hmm…how to describe it…? Try and imagine a very large fish. Then imagine it dead, buried, dug up and rained on and that’s pretty much how fish sauce smells. I’m not kidding. To use it, I had to hold my breath while I added a quick splash. And then, while waiting for it to meld with the coconut milk and curry paste, I suffered serious anguish — certain I’d ruined the whole thing. Strangely enough, it does eventually “sink in” to the dish and gives it that unexplainable depth of flavor that we get in the Thai takeout the boys love. The fact that Thai takeout for six costs an arm and a leg was another motivation behind this dish.

Once I finally got it all put together and the chicken had a chance to simmer itself tender, I was surprised at how close it came to tasting like real Thai food. Doesn’t the color look great?

Before I do this again, I have to get Jasmine rice. I used basmati this time, and it completely overpowered the taste of the sauce. But I’m still patting myself on the back for the attempt. Next time…Green Curry!!

It’s official, I need a knitting intervention. I fully expect to get a thank you note from my local craft store as well as an invitation to their child’s college graduation — I’m pretty sure I’ve paid for it single-handedly by now.

“Aren’t you bored with that yet?” Jason asked me this weekend. “You’ve been working on that for hours now.”

Short answer…No I am not bored. I realize I haven’t discovered fire here, but there is something so fantastic about turning a few balls of yarn into some sort of useful thing, that I could do it all day and not get tired of it. Although my aching fingers tell another story.

I’ll be honest, I’m not even all that concerned about what I churn out. Whether the product is good, bad or indifferent, the process is enthralling. If you don’t knit, you’ll just have to trust me on this one. And suddenly realizing, “Hey, I think I know how to make this pattern better!” makes me feel incredibly clever. Considering my brain has been slowly rotting under the onslaught of The Wiggles and Bob the Builder, it’s reassuring to realize there’s still a spark of creativity in there somewhere.

Speaking of…check out my latest creation.

I made this hat in a solid for Jason, but then bought a book that shows different stitches and patterns. I thought this Fair Isle Star looked promising and managed to tweak it a bit so it would fit my stitch count.

I’m really pleased with how it came out, and Tom seems to love it as well. He insisted on wearing it for all four hours of Mother’s Day Out yesterday which totally makes up for the fact that I had to knit the whole thing twice before I got the size right. On the upside, with the second one I finally got the hang of weaving, so the inside isn’t such an unholy mess.

Please don’t ask me why it looks navy blue in this picture. But at least my stitches look (sort of) tidy!

Now I’m off to do more laundry. Potty training is NOT moving along as quickly as I’d like. And a certain child who shall remain nameless (but don’t even think I’ve forgotten who you are) managed to soil two outfits before 9 a.m. this morning. Lovely. With pull-ups running around 40 cents per item, these kids are SERIOUSLY cutting into my mad money.

After the glitz of the holidays, I guess Sam found the return of my usual fake flower arrangement just too dull to live with. So he added a little “flair” of his own. Nothing says Classy quite like a purple train.

Or a Chinese Dragon Train, for that matter.

Sam’s hourly consulting rates are quite reasonable, but he does demand a Graham Cracker and Juice break around 3 in the afternoon. Contact The Drunch for bookings.

It’s o.k. as long as they’re not playing with the food itself, right?

So here I go again. Trying to get a pair of @#$%ing purple socks done in time for my mother’s birthday. Here’s what it looks like from above. And for added fun the working needle makes FIVE needles I have to keep up with on this project! Woo hoo!

And here it is from the side so you can see the cabling. I have a strong suspicion that I may hate cables. I’m too new a knitter to declare this definitively, but the initial signs are strongly leaning in that direction.

Why, you may ask, is it so important that I churn out a pair of hand-made purple socks in time for my mother’s birthday? I’ll be glad to tell you. Mom once told me that the best part about getting old is that you can wear purple socks with red pants and no one will have the guts to call you on it. They’ll assume you’re senile and let it pass. In the mean-time you can walk around giggling to yourself knowing you look like you dressed in the dark but with the awareness that everyone else will feel compelled to smile and tell you how nice you look that day. She has a weird sense of humor. It’s something we share.

Unfortunately, we both share the same chicken thin calves and I think these @#$% things are going to be too big again. Whatever…I’ll tell her they’re slouch socks. Or maybe I won’t even finish them and tell her they’re leg warmers. That really WOULD make people stop and stare.