So here it is in a nutshell…I can’t finish a darn thing. Seriously! You don’t even want to know how much I’ve started and not finished when it comes to my knitting projects. There’s a lonely sock around here somewhere waiting for me to produce a mate. There’s a Christmas present (or two or three) that just turned out to be SUCH a hassle that now it’s looking like a mid-summer surprise. The only reason I finished Corrie Beth’s Hat and Mitts is because her mom spilled the beans that I was making them, and CB started checking the mail religiously waiting for them to arrive. So of course, I had to pony up and actually follow through.

Which made me think perhaps a little more accountability might not be untoward. So here I am on my latest venture, a Maia Shoulderette, with my faithful knitting buddy Bells.

Here’s some in progress pics:

You can see the detail a bit better on the first, but the color is truer on the second. So far so good, although let’s not mention that I’ve knit about this far three times now. The first I forgot the beads altogether. The second, I decided the beads were too red and had to rip it all out. And now, I’m declaring the third time the charm as I refuse to rip back again. So there we have it.

Bells introduced me to the knitting bug that bit me. She introduced me to the magic that is a “swap” and now my first knit-along. Perfect continuity. I have no idea who this project will be for. I’m thinking it needs to be ready in time for the Bunco Christmas party, but whether I’ll wear it or gift it is still up in the air.

…should a brand labeled “Cheap and Chic” charge almost $300 for a rather ugly cotton blouse? Maybe the blouse is expensive, but makes YOU look cheap if you wear it? A point to ponder.

…it would appear that Jack feels the words “little brothers” and “minions” should be interchangeable.

“Oh, man! I knew I shouldn’t have washed this blouse. Now it’s shrunk.”

“Hmm…can’t seem to button these pants. But they did have those ugly pockets, so no loss.”

“I hear elastic is making a comeback this season.”

I don’t know why it is that despite the scale registering 15 (with gusts up to 20) extra pounds, I’ve still managed to tell myself I still looked o.k. Then the Disney pictures were developed and I’ve found out that Cher from “Clueless” had it right. “Never rely on mirrors,” she said. “Only trust polaroids.” And, damn…are they brutal in their honesty.

So despite my exercising more lately than I have in the past year, it’s clear the true fault lies somewhere between Pizza Hut and Dairy Queen. *sigh* I’ve been waiting for years to magically develop a speedy metabolism, and am now completely certain the wait has been in vain. So…now on top of exercise must come diet. And I hate it. Hate it. Hate. It. Lots.

So feel free to send the healthy, yet family-friendly recipes my way. Things have just gotten drastic.

Dear World At Large,

My internet connectivity stinks. We switched to DSL, but are apparently roughly 18 inches too far from the hub, and so can only get the basic speed which is roughly the equivalent of dial-up, but without all the fun pings and buzzes. So we had to slink back to Charter and pay extra to have them re-run the cables since everything had been appropriated by AT&T, only to find that our Airport Extreme router has decided to no longer be compatible with any known internet provider. Considering how much I love my other Apple products, it’s shocking how much I hate this particular one.

Anyhow, I just thought I’d drop a line to say I’m alive, since I haven’t blogged, e-mailed or facebooked much of anything in the last month due to this issue as well as the general business of the day to day. To paraphrase my beloved Mark Twain, “Rumors or my demise have been greatly exaggerated.” Off to grab a quick shower and get the boys to school, followed by a massive dose of cold medicine and a marathon tour of the laundry room. This is just how exciting I am. Also there’s a small boy hanging from my right arm and two more under my feet which makes forming coherent thoughts something of a challenge.